Madonna shouldn't have to defend the appearance of her face (cosmetic surgery or not)

Madonna is used to being the centre of attention – being a global icon and cultural innovator will invariably do that to you. Sadly, mentions of her name are often accompanied by unsolicited commentary about her appearance, whether it's “well-intentioned” concern about her strong physique or – as we've seen this year – utterly pointless speculation about her face. 

Madonna stole the show at the 2023 Grammys, introducing Sam Smith and Kim Petras' performance with an invigorating speech about the power of rebellion. But the discourse was inevitably dominated by people sharing images to compare Madonna to other women – such as Martha Stewart, Susanna Hoffs, and even someone's mum – highlighting her failure to visibly age in line with societal expectations. 

Referencing the controversy, Madonna later tweeted a selfie with the caption, “Look how cute I am now that swelling from surgery has gone down. Lol.” 

It's a familiar story: women are encouraged to delay – or better yet, reverse – visible signs of ageing at every opportunity. Yet when we do as we're told (through beauty products, surgical intervention, and extreme exercise and nutrition regimes), we're berated for not “ageing gracefully.”

GLAMOUR spoke to Anita Bhagwandas, a beauty director and author of UGLY: Giving us back our beauty standards, and Jessica DeFino, a beauty critic and founder of The Unpublishable newsletter, to unpack the concept of ageing gracefully and explore why it's so often levelled at Madonna. 

What does ageing gracefully actually mean? According to Anitas Bhagwandas, it refers to “ageing with some cosmetic intervention to still be agreeable to the male gaze, but not too much that you seem desperate, or that it’s noticeable.”

Essentially, it's about funnelling a lot of time and resources into anti-ageing efforts – while maintaining a façade of effortlessness. As Jessica DeFino explains, "What makes "ageing gracefully" a particularly nefarious euphemism for anti-ageing is that it implies anti-ageing should appear to be effortless. Of course, “ageing gracefully” is not effortless — it demands a lot of effort, and then demands even more effort to disappear the evidence of said effort."

“Women are expected to perform the labour of applying cosmetics and then the labour of making those cosmetics seem nonexistent.”

The ramifications are troubling; why should we exert all our energy and resources into the appearance of effortless youth? DeFino explains that this “speaks to the making of modern femininity, which is “marked by a concealment of the work of body making,” as Susie Orbach writes in Aesthetic Labour: Rethinking Beauty Politics in Neoliberalism.

"Orbach notes that the labour of making one’s aesthetic labour invisible is “so integrated into the take up of femininity that we may be ignorant of the processes we engage in. We are encouraged to translate the work of doing so into the categories of ‘fun,’ of being ‘healthy’ and of ‘looking after ourselves.’” 

“We can see this same concept more clearly in trends like “no-makeup makeup” and the “clean girl look” — in both instances, women are expected to perform the labour of applying cosmetics and then the labour of making those cosmetics seem nonexistent. “Ageing gracefully” is much the same! We’re encouraged to participate in the system but also, to make it appear as if we aren't participating in the system at all.”

In her book Ugly, Bhagwandas writes that the societal obsession with youth “might seem focused around lines or wrinkles” but that it actually hides a bigger truth: "It’s about how we are more visible and admired when we are young, how youth is celebrated in all areas of society.”

Speaking to GLAMOUR about why youth is celebrated above all else in women, Bhagwandas notes, "We have a society with a strong patriarchal legacy that has dictated that you can only be beautiful and valuable within very narrow parameters, one of which is being young and fertile. 

“It's about ageing with some cosmetic intervention to still be agreeable to the male gaze, but not too much that you seem desperate, or that it’s noticeable.”

“Our value in society has always been tied to our biology, it’s not the same case for men, who we’re told ‘get more handsome as they age’ because men’s societal value is tied to finance and work. Neither of these are good, they’re both limiting and archaic.”

Jessica DeFino echoed this sentiment about the disparities between how ageing gracefully is a far more attainable achievement for men than for women. She explained, “Broadly, men are more valued for things like wisdom, experience, leadership, dominance, and career achievement, which are all associated with age. Women are more valued for beauty, fertility, submissiveness, and compliance, which are all associated with youth.”

She continued, "It's also no mistake that women are bombarded with anti-ageing messaging in their mid-twenties to thirties — a time when people are generally stepping into their power, gaining more confidence, and earning more money. 

“Imagine if women retained the money, time, energy, effort, and brain space they dedicate to physical beauty from age 25 on? The force of that power would threaten to destroy the sexist, patriarchal structures our society is built upon.”

There's no doubt that Madonna is a powerful woman – and she regularly channels her power into critiquing the “patriarchal structures” described by DeFino. Yet, like many female celebrities who use their platforms to speak truth to power, her appearance is often considered fair game. This is largely due to speculation that they have undergone significant cosmetic procedures – although Madonna has never publicly confirmed or denied these rumours. 

“Female celebrities are more likely to have their appearance dissected because they are making obvious changes to their appearance, and often. People are going to talk about that!” explains DeFino. And this isn't inherently a negative thing: “I hate the idea that discussing women’s looks — particularly when those looks are the result of an intense and potentially dangerous process of mechanical manipulation that defies the physical limits of the human face and the financial limits of the majority of the population — is sexist.”

She adds, “What’s sexist is perpetuating and/or furthering the impossible beauty ideal that women are disproportionately expected to emulate (or else suffer the social, financial, political, and psychological consequences of non-compliance), and discouraging people from talking about it by co-opting the language of gender discrimination.”

“People are upset by Madonna’s new face because it is, on some level, exposing the truth: that anti-ageing is an inhuman goal, and attempting to anti-age — or “age gracefully” actually takes an incredible amount of effort.”

Ultimately, DeFino thinks that “people are upset by Madonna’s new face because it is, on some level, exposing the truth: that anti-ageing is an inhuman goal, and attempting to anti-age — or “age gracefully,” whatever you want to call it — actually takes an incredible amount of effort.”

"With her obvious aesthetic interventions, her effort (and her desperation for youth) are on full display. That not only violates the rules of “ageing gracefully,” it violates the (false) code of ethics embedded in beauty culture. For example: When plastic surgery is subtle, we call it “good work.” When plastic surgery is obvious, we call it “bad work.” The message is, a "good woman" with "good work" conceals the labour they perform to make the construct of womanhood seem natural. Madonna is being judged as a “bad woman” with “bad work” for exposing the construct of womanhood as unnatural."

She argues that a “more subversive and effective way to expose the construct of womanhood” would be to “reject the tools of construction (like cosmetic surgery) entirely. As it is, Madonna is propping up the very systems she claims to be standing up to (ageism, misogyny) by refusing to let her ageing female body age visibly.”

But as Bhagwandas points out, "If we lived in a truly fair, pro-women society, [Madonna would] be celebrated as a musical icon whatever she looked like, and allowed to just carry on. Perhaps, she wouldn't have felt so much pressure to look as youthful at all costs – who knows? If she stopped having cosmetic work now, perhaps people would say ‘she’s let herself go’. 

"Our society does have a real issue with older women owning their bodies and embodying their sexuality – because if they do, it’s seen as subversive and threatening to patriarchal norms."

In her response to the backlash, Madonna wrote on Instagram, "Once again I am caught in the glare of ageism and misogyny That permeates the world we live in. A world that refuses to celebrate women past the age of 45 And feels the need to punish her If she continues to be strong willed, hard-working and adventurous.

“I have never apologized for any of the creative choices I have made nor the way that I look or dress and I’m not going to start. I have been degraded by the media since the beginning of my career but I understand that this is all a test and I am happy to do the trailblazing so that all the women behind me can have an easier time in the years to come.”

She finished, “I look forward to many more years of subversive behavior -pushing boundaries-Standing up to the patriarchy -and Most of all enjoying my life.”

If the ~discourse~ around Madonna's appearance can teach us anything, it's that we should be able to condemn the concept of "ageing gracefully" AND have urgent discussions about the impact that widespread cosmetic interventions among famous women can have on ordinary, non-famous women. 

In the meantime, we'll leave Madonna to continue living her best life. 

For more from Glamour UK's Lucy Morgan, follow her on Instagram @lucyalexxandra.

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